The Walls in my Life

Today in class as an ice breaker exercise and we from what I remember we had to identify personal walls in our lives. Well here is mine:

I was born in California, and where I grew up everyone the community was very accepting, open, and embracive. A couple years back I moved to Washington State; specifically Bellevue. In Bellevue, there are not very many people who looked like me; dressed like me; talked like me. What I realized is that in Bellevue a lot of people built up these metaphoric walls around themselves, allowing only people who were like them in.

In California I not only knew all my neighbors, but interacted with them daily. In Bellevue I barely know my neighbors let alone see them. When I walk down the street or in a mall I can actually feel people getting uncomfortable. At first I asked myself why? What made me so intimidating? I mean if you know me I am 5'4, skinny, and always smiling. I always thought myself as being very warm not intimidating.

Don't get me wrong. It was not their fault. They didn't know anyone like me. What they knew were people who looked like me on their televisions on shows like cops and Jerry Springer. I don't blame them because they were not arrogant, they were ignorant, they just didn't know.

What I soon realized was the metaphoric wall built between us, two different types of people, in the name of safety. Like many I got used to it. Like all teenagers I changed to fit my surroundings.

I changed the way I talked.

I changed the way I walked.

I changed the way I dressed.

I did not change because I wanted to fit in. I changed because I was tired of being shut out. Changing allowed me a chance for people to actually get to know me for who I am. Although I changed the way I talked amongst other things, I have still maintained my identity; where I came from; what I believe in; my values; who I really am.

And those who actually know me, know that I am just as real, as loving, as caring, always thinking, as American as they are.

That is one of the many walls of my life. Hopefully this trip will help my realize and understand more about the walls in not only my life, but our cultures, societies, and lives.